While I’ve been busy as hell working on various projects and pointedly not posting as much as I need too, it seems all hell decided to break loose.
Around the world, terror has commenced at the severity of coming into contact or contracting the virus Covid-19. Or perhaps this is just the countries now experiencing the worst. My condolences for those who’ve experienced tragedy. Covid-19 is super serious, and during times of extreme duress, we all need a moment to laugh and smile.
And if you’re in America, then you need armageddon amounts of toilet paper. Perhaps, we can all agree here in the states this is not Covid-19 but Tee-pee catastrophe. New wedding vows will include for toilet paper or no toilet paper. There will be new washcloths monogrammed in the South: Mommy’s ass, Daddy’s bomb butt, Brother’s stinkhole, and Sissy’s poo-fume.
In all seriousness, in the craziness that’s starting to unfold, I’m taking it one day at a time, and I’m going to try my darndest to keep an upbeat spirit. Even while I school my monsters at home. Here’s to staying safe, the low numbers in our area and hoping they stay that way.
I’m sure we aren’t the only ones that will face the uncertainty during these difficult times, but in these times of fear we must stay firm. We will continue to live within the parameters we can, and above all else smile.
Okay, now we all need some smiles. I haven’t published or shared my works yet, but I do try my hand at writing. I’m not the best, but hell, I’m certainly not the worst. I usually write first-person pov, so let’s see how this goes.
For giggles here are two mini-writings from my life to help us all to have a moment of humor.
The Grocery Store Revelation
Shoppers gripped their buggies as if the gazes of others might strip their baskets bare, but one lone soul with no cart strolled onto an aisle not consumed in pandemonium. For this shopper took in all of the glittering bottles and assorted packed cans and smiled. Not a devilish grin of what awaited him from his found treasures.
In truth, the curls crinkled into the worn lines of his face were from relief. The world in all of its panicked state had not gone to shit in a handbag and the liquor was still available. As silly as it seemed it warmed the man’s heart to know the world according to the news didn’t compare to the truth on this aisle. For if we were all screwed, then all the liquor would go first… not toilet paper.
Now, if you’re not smiling then you’ve got a happy bolt loose and need to get that fixed in a hot quick minute. Some of you will say I made the story above up, but alas, I didn’t. Thank you to my sweet hubs for sharing this piece of laughter with me when he encountered the shopper on the aisle.
Her husband gave her the skeptical eye as she evaluated and tested the longboard in front of her. How she cursed the deck inspector who said the two by eight headers already lagged into the house were unacceptable. A two by ten required by code the inspector relayed to her husband, and now two, twenty-foot, two by ten’s she must try to heave with her small frame.
There were tales of mothers who lifted cars and she conjured the fortitude to do such a task. So she tried the shorter ten-foot section and trembled at its weight. With doubt in her mind and bravery in her arms, she told herself to buck up and handle the goddamn piece of wood. Twenty feet or not she’d do what she must and help her husband correct the ledger board, while secretly still cursing the deck inspector.
There were many failures on her side. The attempts to lift the twenty-foot, two by ten above her head while the ladder rocked. Nine feet in the air she tried not to smash her fingers, ignored the agony in her muscles, apologized for knocking the board out and smacking the water facet. By the end of lifting the second twenty-foot board into its flashed position, she fought with all her might to secure it into the grooved out space.
With several swift punches the board slipped in and the task of installing both two by ten ledgers was complete. The next day she cursed again though, for this time her muscles ached in all their fury at her overzealous fortitude. One muscle in particular in her jaw proved sorer than all the rest.
She shared this news with her husband, who tried to keep his amusement confined. Then bestowed the greatest gift he could to his darling wife who still hurt like the dickens.
“Don’t tell too many people about your jaw. It might not come out right saying your jaw hurts after helping me with my wood.”
The poor wife pinched her lips at the dirty little joke, and sputtered into a burst of uncontrollable laughter. Her husband followed suit. She cursed again, however, because the muscle under her jaw spasmed, and she knew her husband’s long, heavy, wood was to blame a second time.
Yes, this is all about me and my husband’s heavy piece of wood. Oh, how quickly the tale of wood and a jaw without the necessary details can turn exceptionally dirty.
Now wasn’t that fun?!
I bet you wish I had another story, but I’ve got a novel waiting for me to finish reviewing. Plus, another book cover mock-up to complete and share with an Author very soon!
That’s right I’m deep into my design phase on a fresh book cover design. I keep telling myself I’m going to get my balance right and then I drop everything to run away into my mind to design. I have issues, but they are the best kind of issues to have.
Creativity with a whole lot of craziness. Until next time my lovelies. I hope to have a few more great stories to share!
Last but not least if you read and enjoyed let me know. This is probably my first time sharing my writing outside of my critique partners or my bookish blogs.
MOTHER COVER LOVER OUT!
Want to check out more MOTHER COVER LOVER posts? Then check out my last two book and cover reviews.